Friday, January 4, 2008

The Rollercoaster

We are debating homeschooling the boys. At the beginning of the summer of 2007 I really was pushing for it. At that time, Frank was hesitant...understandably so. The roles flipped some time over the summer. Then Jonathan started school. I have been very impressed with how his writing abilities have soared while in school (pre K program). He seems to really enjoy it. I mentioned in an earlier post about his allergies. His teachers started to question some things about his behavior and if he would be socially ready for kindergarten. This is my first born baby boy....the claws came out, but mostly on myself. I really began to question my abilities as his mother. I wondered if I had messed him up somehow. Maybe the TV had done him harm??? What was it? I started praying about it. In early December he had three meltdowns in 5 minutes at church. My heart was breaking for him!!!! I was in the service for the last worship song during which I was crying out to the Lord for wisdom as to how to help Jonathan move past this phase or whatever he was in. It was precious! Jonathan saw my hand raised in praise to the Lord and he raised his hand. God spoke to me in that moment. He reminded me that Jonathan's spiritual health was what mattered. Everything else would fall into place, and if it never did that would be ok too. Talk about a fog lifting.

That night, I started researching the allergy meds he was taking: singulair and zyrtec. A year and a half ago when the dr first put him on singulair we tried it for a few days and then stopped because of some side effects (behavioral ones) that we thought were being cased by the meds. I had forgotten this. So when i started checking on the meds I found out that other kids had problems with them...uncontrollable crying for no reason, defiance when they hadn't been defiant, etc. We immediately stopped his meds. 36 hours later he was a block head. We started back his nasal spray which doesn't have any behavioral side effects and found a homeopathic allergy medicine with no side effects. On Christmas day, we took him off the nasal spray and he has been doing well, allergy wise. Behaviorally speaking, I can see a big difference. I thought that his teachers could also. At least that is what they were indicating to me on an evaluation sheet that I had started having them fill out.

I picked him up today and they said that he had a bad day, even though this folder indicated that he had a "green" day. Go figure. So, two days before break, they told me that he was so creative and loved doing his art work which was a huge breakthrough for him! Huge! Then, today they said that he doesn't want to do his work, doesn't want to do art, just wants to play. I put him in the car and cried the whole way home! What is up!

Jonathan is really bright and has an amazing imagination! You should watch him with his trains...and his memory...he can quote movies like his father! He really blows me away sometimes.

So, is not wanting to do his school work an obedience issue? Is it that he is a young 4 year old? Is it that he is not only a young 4, but that he is also a boy? Or are they not teaching him in a way that will enable him to really take off (which is not their fault; I can't teach every learning style)?

We have so many decisions to make. I think we are really leaning to homeschooling him so that I can structure his learning in such a way to help him to excel. I have a lot of fears regarding homeschooling, mostly be not being disciplined enough. But, isn't this our responsibility? We are going to try to get him in soccer or t-ball for the spring and then into scouts or awana starting in the fall I think. There is so much to think about. I mean, this is his education.

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