Today...

Dear Jonathan,

Today, I wasn't the best mom for you. I wasn't even a good mom for you. I did a horrible job.
I didn't show you how to use self-control. But I still yelled at you for not using self-control.
I failed in teaching you about sorting rules in math.
I didn't delight in you.
See, not even a good mom for you today. I am fighting with my pride over it too. I don't want to be the one at fault. I want to blame you for waking up early, or Daddy for waking you up accidentally. I want to blame you for me not being able to go back to sleep at 6:15am. I want to blame everyone. But not me. The truth is that I screw up a lot. And this time, I hear the Spirit telling me that I have screwed this up today. I made the choice to wallow in my misery, my grumpiness, my anger, my frustration. I have made a choice not to get out of the pit that I am in today. I am trying to allow the Lord to soften my heart and change my attitude, but I am winning the battle that I so desperately need to loose.

Jonathan, I love you. I am sorry for not being the mom that God wants me to be for you. I am sorry for not loving you well today. I do love you. More than you will ever know.

Mommy

Our first trip to the mountains after Jonathan was born. Loved this photo!

It might not be fancy...

We bought our home 4 and a half years ago. It was new. No custom painting. Carpet throughout, including under the table area (!!!!), and not fancy carpet at that. Everything about out house screamed "builder." We were totally OK with that.

Four and a half years later, builder grade carpet doesn't look so pretty.

Four and a half years later, builder beige in flat finish is looking a little, OK a lot, dirty.

Four and a half years later, our home needs a little help. OK, a lot of help. Thankfully nothing too expensive, like a new roof or AC.

We have been tackling some projects around the house, SLOWLY!

A year and a half ago, we painted our kitchen. A year ago, we put knobs on our kitchen cabinets (see, told you it was SLOW!).

Manly Man and I have been wanting to make the boys room special...something fun for them. About three weeks ago, I bought paint and painted their room. We finally finished putting it all together yesterday.

(Frank's extra helmet and old mask)

(Frank's shield, patch, and life saving medals from his time with Greensboro FD, yes something is falling in the shadow box!)

(Model fire trucks the boys got, and their baseball trophies)

We are also cleaning out, decluttering, and try to make our home a little nicer.

We really would love to rip up the carpet and put in hardwoods or laminates, especially with Jonathan's allergies, but that costs too much right now and we just aren't going to do it.

Our home might not be fancy. It might not (OK, definitely won't) win any awards for home designs. The carpet might look tie-dyed. And smushed. But it is our home. It is lived in, a lot. And we live in it well. We homeschool in it, which means more people are in our home more hours a day than if we didn't homeschool. So even though our home isn't all cute...I am learning to accept it for what it truly is...our haven. Our safe place to fall. Our sanctuary.

Need A Laugh?

Thought I would share a couple of funny things this dreary Labor Day morning. My boys are still in bed. Guessing they need their sleep, but we are still having school this morning, apparently a little later than planned!




First, for all you Twilight fans out there, I saw a bumper sticker on a car the other day. Here it is:

This cracked me up for some reason. Perhaps it should really scare me, but since the car was parked, I wasn't too concerned:)



Second, we let the boys watch Star Wars (Episodes 4 - 6) about a week ago and they are totally into it now. To quote Jacob, with light saber in hand..."I'm Obi Two Kenobi." Now I am sure that every kid makes that statement, it just makes sense to them. But when it is your own saying it...hysterical!





Have a great Labor Day!

A Little Early For This

So my sweet, just turned six year old boy, Jonathan had a great time playing at the park today. I took the boys out to enjoy the upper 70's that are so unseasonable for us. After going to pick a paint color for their room we headed to a favorite park of ours. They boys always do really well finding other kids to play with and today was no exception. As we were leaving, he said "bye" to the little girl that he as playing with. (He called her a princess the whole they were playing too!) He asked her for her phone number! Seriously! I almost peed in my pants! Isn't it too early for this??? I love you Jonathan and you will break some hearts I am sure, but lets not be in such a rush!