Tuesday, October 28, 2008


I guess I have been taking a blogging break, trying to figure out what to blog, why I blog, and should I change anything up on the blog. I don't really have any answers. I sometimes feel like there are too many irons in the fire. I don't like that feeling. It makes me feel like I am not doing any of them well. I just want to have one thing that I think..."I do that well...I enjoy that...that is my passion." Anyone else feel that way? When I was a little girl, I danced. I started when I turned 3 and didn't stop until I graduated from high school. It was my passion. I was pretty good at it too. Classically trained ballet. I still LOVE to go to the ballet, but don't ever get the chance. I stopped dancing in college because I realized that I was doing it for me and I didn't want that anymore. I wanted the Lord to be at the top of my list, and He wasn't. He was up there, but not number one. I don't feel like He has given me "permission" to dance, other than in my kitchen, since I was 18. I think He knows that I am too approval based to be able to dance and NOT have it become higher than He is.
I feel lost when I think about what my passion is now. Some people read, scrapbook, run, cook. That list is great. But there isn't anything that I am passionate about on that list. I have a tough time watching others get "into" what they love. It makes me feel, as my Granny would say, "blue." You know, just a little sad. Sad that I don't have that. I think that I am going to be adding it to my prayer list. Manly Man has been asking me for years what I am passionate about, what I love and I have never been able to answer him. Guess I should have added it years ago huh?
My question to you: what are you passionate about, and how did you find it?


Hulls Clan said...

Hmmm...good question...I'm thinking about that one and will get back to you! You are a dear and I'm thankful to know you...that I do know!:)

Teesa and Bill said...

It seems to me, purely from an outsider's point of view, that you are very passionate about being a great mother and wife. For goodness' sake, you are actually homeschooling your kids now! Talk about being passionate about something!

Of course, I'm not naive enough to think that is enough - I understand what you mean about wanting some sort of hobby or outlet to really excel in.

My passion is cooking, as you probably already know. I love making things and watching people's faces light up (or crunch up, depending) as they eat whatever I've created. I love making things from scratch and talking about different facets of cooking with other people. I also love writing, which is why I am blogging now.

I stumbled across cooking in China because I craved comfort foods from America. I didn't know how to do anything before I moved there in 2000.

Writing came before that - when I was about 19 years-old and I realized that I hadn't gotten below an A on any paper I wrote and that I actually laid awake at night thinking about how I would write something. I still do that - whether it's the blog or a sweet letter to someone - I will roll over in the middle of the night and work through all the facets of a sentence to make it just right.

All that to say, what do you spend your time thinking about the most, outside of your relationship with the Lord? Cooking dinner? Your next lesson plan? Running? Writing? Designing your blog page? Whatever it is, I bet that's where you passion lies.

Ainsley said...

I've always wondered the same thing... because I didn't have an obvious hobby or vocation. I've had just about every job under the sun and I don't do anything hobby-like.

Anyway, like the above comment said, I think it's what you spend most of your time dreaming or thinking about. And it can change during different seasons of life. For me, right now, it's loving my family and creating a secure environment for my children. I also love to read and write, but I can do that along the way. =)

Kari said...

I think mine are books and food.

Tracey said...

I like alot of things but I wouldn't say that I'm passionate about anything in particular. I like to bake, technology, tv, scrapbooking, my family, and a few more things. I think that it's not necessary to have a passion if there are things that you like to do in life. I think that loving who you are is much more important that loving what you do. Thanks for making us think.

Eve said...

Um...I like to think that I am passionate about one thing but I don't think that I am. I LOVE reading, scrapbooking, cross stitching, and now blogging and I like to think I do each really well. If I had to chose one of these things that I think I am most passionate about it would be cross stitching because my grandmother taught me and I have been doing it since I was really young. I just finished one not too long ago and I had it framed.
Great blog and a great thinking question Nan! I know that you will figure it out!

Caroline said...

Well, you know I am passionate about music and worship. I did find that out several years ago when I did a spiritual gifts assessment at Grace. That helped me discover my passion and then my top three spiritual gifts. if you haven't taken one, I would highly suggest it.

emily said...

Nan, a year ago I could have written this very post. And I prayed that the Lord would reveal to me what my passion is. What is my thing? Because, like you, I had things that I wanted to be my thing...but I didn't know if he wanted them to be my thing. And so I prayed for him to tell me.

Turns out I kind of already knew. I was just afraid to admit it. I am passionate about writing. I don't know what that means, still. But...I really find peace in knowing.

Anonymous said...

Manly Man here. I'm so amazed by your thoughts and how poignant they are in the blog. You have an amazing gift in how you write. It moves and compels people to respond with an equal amount of thought. I love your blog, I love your care as a mom and wife. But most of all, I love you. I love your honesty and tenderness. It grips me and holds me tight. And of all the comments written above, I was most moved by Tracey's comment that loving yourself is more important than loving an activity. Teesa, Ainsley, and Emily had some great comments too. God made you to imitate Him. He is Love. He loves you. So in imitating Him, we are called as believers to love ourselves. Not in a proud way, but in a Christ like way. That's all I've got and I am with you in everything.

Karin @ 6ByHisDesign said...

OK, who wouldn't love Manly Man??!!

You ROCK, Manly Man!

Nan, you rock, too! I think in the middle of motherhood - maybe these early years, especially - we lose track of who we are indendent of all of 'them.' This is the time we've literally dreamed about since childhood, hoped for for years, and now here we are in the thick of the chaos and love of it what? There's more, right? I don't know if I am passionate about anything...except sleep. But, even that I toss off without a thought when something better comes along.

I do pray that God gives you the peace you seek.


P.S. It's absolutely OK to passionate about your family and your marriage --- you might check out Desperate Housewives Passionate for God. THIS IS your calling. And you are aswering His call. Even on those days when you feel like - how is doing laundry a passion??

4funboys said...

You Go MM...

Don't are passions change with the seasons?

Mine do... or maybe I'm just moody??

Either way... I enjoy many things, and often feel like I have "too many irons in the fire" to do it "all" well!

but... it's in our weekness, in our inadequacies that His stregth is revealed.... not only to others, but often times to ourselves!

Thanks for your post... as I'm very much FEELING it today!

Hulls Clan said...

Ok, I have thought about your question much and am just now sitting down with my chatty 2 year old by my side hoping this comes out making sense:) Soooo, I have decided that my passion really is my kiddos. Maybe something else should be, and maybe I will end up as one of those mom's that is devestated when I become an empty nester because my passion in life has been my kids...but I think I'm ok with that. I thought about the things I really enjoy doing (well or not), like sewing, knitting, just creating things and not one of them in and of itself is worthy of my passion...all of them are the most fun and enjoyable when done for or with my family. So I'm sure there are seasons of passion, seasons when we do more things for ourselves...but in the meantime, I am happy when I get time to sit and knit alone for an hour, or get out with a friend for coffee or dinner, just so I can come back home to my family and feel reempassioned (is that a word?) for my passion. Would love to talk more on this...but those are my very interruped thoughts for now! Love ya girl!