Today...

Dear Jonathan,

Today, I wasn't the best mom for you. I wasn't even a good mom for you. I did a horrible job.
I didn't show you how to use self-control. But I still yelled at you for not using self-control.
I failed in teaching you about sorting rules in math.
I didn't delight in you.
See, not even a good mom for you today. I am fighting with my pride over it too. I don't want to be the one at fault. I want to blame you for waking up early, or Daddy for waking you up accidentally. I want to blame you for me not being able to go back to sleep at 6:15am. I want to blame everyone. But not me. The truth is that I screw up a lot. And this time, I hear the Spirit telling me that I have screwed this up today. I made the choice to wallow in my misery, my grumpiness, my anger, my frustration. I have made a choice not to get out of the pit that I am in today. I am trying to allow the Lord to soften my heart and change my attitude, but I am winning the battle that I so desperately need to loose.

Jonathan, I love you. I am sorry for not being the mom that God wants me to be for you. I am sorry for not loving you well today. I do love you. More than you will ever know.

Mommy

Our first trip to the mountains after Jonathan was born. Loved this photo!

It might not be fancy...

We bought our home 4 and a half years ago. It was new. No custom painting. Carpet throughout, including under the table area (!!!!), and not fancy carpet at that. Everything about out house screamed "builder." We were totally OK with that.

Four and a half years later, builder grade carpet doesn't look so pretty.

Four and a half years later, builder beige in flat finish is looking a little, OK a lot, dirty.

Four and a half years later, our home needs a little help. OK, a lot of help. Thankfully nothing too expensive, like a new roof or AC.

We have been tackling some projects around the house, SLOWLY!

A year and a half ago, we painted our kitchen. A year ago, we put knobs on our kitchen cabinets (see, told you it was SLOW!).

Manly Man and I have been wanting to make the boys room special...something fun for them. About three weeks ago, I bought paint and painted their room. We finally finished putting it all together yesterday.

(Frank's extra helmet and old mask)

(Frank's shield, patch, and life saving medals from his time with Greensboro FD, yes something is falling in the shadow box!)

(Model fire trucks the boys got, and their baseball trophies)

We are also cleaning out, decluttering, and try to make our home a little nicer.

We really would love to rip up the carpet and put in hardwoods or laminates, especially with Jonathan's allergies, but that costs too much right now and we just aren't going to do it.

Our home might not be fancy. It might not (OK, definitely won't) win any awards for home designs. The carpet might look tie-dyed. And smushed. But it is our home. It is lived in, a lot. And we live in it well. We homeschool in it, which means more people are in our home more hours a day than if we didn't homeschool. So even though our home isn't all cute...I am learning to accept it for what it truly is...our haven. Our safe place to fall. Our sanctuary.

Need A Laugh?

Thought I would share a couple of funny things this dreary Labor Day morning. My boys are still in bed. Guessing they need their sleep, but we are still having school this morning, apparently a little later than planned!




First, for all you Twilight fans out there, I saw a bumper sticker on a car the other day. Here it is:

This cracked me up for some reason. Perhaps it should really scare me, but since the car was parked, I wasn't too concerned:)



Second, we let the boys watch Star Wars (Episodes 4 - 6) about a week ago and they are totally into it now. To quote Jacob, with light saber in hand..."I'm Obi Two Kenobi." Now I am sure that every kid makes that statement, it just makes sense to them. But when it is your own saying it...hysterical!





Have a great Labor Day!

A Little Early For This

So my sweet, just turned six year old boy, Jonathan had a great time playing at the park today. I took the boys out to enjoy the upper 70's that are so unseasonable for us. After going to pick a paint color for their room we headed to a favorite park of ours. They boys always do really well finding other kids to play with and today was no exception. As we were leaving, he said "bye" to the little girl that he as playing with. (He called her a princess the whole they were playing too!) He asked her for her phone number! Seriously! I almost peed in my pants! Isn't it too early for this??? I love you Jonathan and you will break some hearts I am sure, but lets not be in such a rush!

A Fresh Start

I've been absent. Been absent from a lot of things it seems. I am making a fresh start today, with lots of things. The biggest of those is school. Jonathan starts first grade at 8am this morning at TWIG (Trusting Wholly In God) Academy. I can't wait for this year....I can honestly say that I have missed teaching him for the past few weeks. Jacob is going to be doing some pre-k stuff: letters, numbers, sounds.

I hope to make a fresh start with blogging also. Manly Man asked me when I was going to blog again...guess now is as good a time as any. I don't really have a good reason as to why I haven't written in a while. I guess I struggle sometimes with feeling like I don't have anything exciting to tell (then again, Jonathan turned six last week and lost his first tooth the week before that and I didn't even get here to mention it!). I also got my nose stuck in some books this summer too. In the last month I have read My Sister's Keeper, The Time Traveller's Wife, Pride and Prejudice, the Twilight Saga (twice...sad huh?), and am starting To Kill A Mockingbird and am in the middle of the Mortal Instruments series. My nose in a book is a new thing for me, but I have really enjoyed it. But it has kept me from here. I don't plan on putting down the books, but trying to find a bit more balance with other things.

A fresh start with the Lord started last Monday. My coffee pot starts brewing at 5:45am and my alarm goes off at 5:55am. Last week, my alarm never woke me up...the Lord woke me up before it went off...EVERY MORNING! But it was a sweet time and I am looking forward to more.

A fresh start at the gym too. I am back at my goal weight, having lost about 20 pounds since the beginning of the year. I wore a new pair of size 6 jeans Friday night while Manly Man played a gig at a coffeehouse. Felt so good! But, I have to get back into the gym, starting tomorrow and get some areas toned and continue working on be healthy.

So fresh starts. Looking forward to it.

Blessings!

Tomatoes: A Lesson In Math

See this bowl of cherry tomatoes? They were all picked yesterday from our garden. We have two cherry tomato plants, and they can produce! Jonathan came out to help me pick tomatoes. I told him it looked like we had a hundred of them! We came inside and it was time for school to start. We got to math. We have have been working on counting groups of 10 and the left over ones to come up with a number from 20 to 29. We have been doing this for several days! I mean, forever it felt like! Today, I asked him to do it without writing the numbers....I realized that he had no connection before two groups of ten and 4 left over being 24. No connection! I kept at it, trying to explain it different ways. I finally got one way to work (don't remember which one though)! I saw a light bulb come on in his head! It was brilliant! I love watching the light come on! I have seen it a lot since i taught for six years. But, there is nothing like a light bulb coming on in your own child's head! He had it! To test it, we counted the tomatoes. 74 of them. He did it! And, he made 74 cents! SO proud!

We've Been Busy

After recovering from the worst June ever (since having mono right after I graduated from high school....caught from my ex boyfriend....I know!), we went on a little vacation (only 30 minutes from out house) to house and dog sit for my in-laws. It was wonderful, but I don't have many pictures!

We spent some time in the boat, fishing, at the beach, and eating yummy food. The highlight was the 4th of July festival in Southport. We invited some dear friends of ours to come to the parade with us and the kids had a blast! We ate some lunch, checked out the arts and crafts and then went back to the house to rest and cook some supper. We went back into town for the fireworks and they were great! The kids handled them really well...Jonathan really does not like loud noises, but he just covered his ears and did fine. Our friends stayed with us that night and then we all headed back to Wilmington for church. We had a pool party and Jonathan took a jump into the pool from a deck that was about 8 to 10 feet above the pool! He wanted to do it and did great! I have two almost swimmers...they are in lessons again, since we had to bail on the first session because on illness.

We are wrapping up school too. Jacob can write his name all by himself and that is too cool! Jonathan is reading up a storm. He reads everything put in front of him. I pray that he never loses his love of reading. Getting my curriculum order ready. We start the new school year in September and will have 3 weeks of school and a week off for the year. We will have a couple 2 week breaks in there also, around Christmas and Easter and once in the summer. I am getting excited about this year, but I am still trying to figure out a daily schedule so that I can still make it to the gym. Being able to exercise is really important to me. I am setting an example for the kids, taking a break from them, doing something good and healthy for me plus they get time with other kids. And, we are paying for it. School will be Monday to Thursday with Friday being a catch up/ field trip/ play date/ library day.

So there is the last few weeks in a nutshell. I am hoping to get back to regular postings now. I want the boys to have something to look back on one day and be able to see what life was like for us.

Oh, best of all, I am having a niece!